10 Tips for making a contact

B2Gether endeavours to offer a healthy and secure environment for its members to meet suitable singles. It is an ideal site to set up a trusting friendship that, we hope, will lead to enduring offline relationships. You may decide to correspond online or to meet offline. In either event, we urge you to use sound judgment and a moderate approach. Some contacts may not be all that they purport. B2Gether claims no exclusivity for this caveat: we consider it to be the duty of any responsible agency of our kind to advocate safety for, and caution on the part of, its members.

1. Not So Fast
   Beware of anybody who seems too good to be true; they most probably are. For starters, communicate only through B2Gether.com, then watch out for odd behaviour or inconsistencies. The person at the other end may be other than what he or she claims. If anything makes you feel uneasy drop out and forget it; for your own safety.

2. Protect your anonymity
   All exchanges between B2Gether members take place through a double-blind* system ensuring that your true identity is protected until you decide to disclose it. You should never include, in your initial messages or free profile, your last name, email address, home address, telephone number, place of work or any other identifying material. When corresponding with another B2Gether.com member, switch off your email signature file. Cease communication with any person who tries to pressurise you for personal details, no matter how seemingly trivial, or who tries to lure you in any way into revealing it.

3. Use your common sense
   Generally, thoughtful decisions will earn respect from the other party and result in better results in your ultimate dating. Trust and respect are a two-way traffic and will be earned gradually through open and forthright dealings. Take all the time you need to test a person’s trustworthiness: you may be making a decision that will affect the rest of your life. If you suspect someone of lying, follow your gut feeling; things do not improve if you are not at ease with a situation. Do not become light-headedly romantic and fall in love at the click of a mouse. That stuff is strictly for a ninety minute movie. Do not become prematurely intimate with somebody, even if that intimacy occurs only on-line. If, by mutual agreement, you decide to cross the point of no return, be smart and protect yourself. There are health agencies in every town and city which are keen to provide you with the most up-to-date information on the prevention on sexually transmitted diseases. Preserve your health; you will be around for a long time, enjoy life.

4. A picture is better than.....
   Request a photograph. A picture will give you a good idea of a person’s appearance and either reinforce or allay any misgivings. Better still ask for a few photos in different settings, indoors and outdoors, casual and formal. If you receive nothing but excuses on why a photograph is not available, then you may assume that the other party has something to hide. After all, B2Gether.com offers a free scanning service to it members, so there is no reason for not providing a picture.

5. A phone call away
   A chat on the phone can reveal a lot about someone’s personality, communication and social skills. Remember the advice on security and do not reveal your personal phone number to a stranger. Use the local telephone blocking techniques to prevent you number appearing on caller ID. Supply your phone number only if you feel completely comfortable when doing so.

6. In your own time
   The advantage of meeting and getting to know a person online is that you can collect and evaluate information gradually and decide later whether or not to pursue the relationship offline. You are under no obligation to meet anybody; regardless of your degree of online intimacy. Even when you decide to arrange a meeting, you always have the right to change your mind. It is quite possible that your decision to keep the relationship at a low anonymous level is based on an instinctive uneasiness. If so go along with your instinct: things are unlikely to improve if something is bugging you.

7. Danger signals
   Look out for displays of anger, intense frustration or attempts to pressurise or control you. Acting in a ‘passive-aggressive’ manner, offering disparaging or disrespectful comments or any physically inappropriate behaviour, are all danger signals. You should feel concerned if your date exhibits any of the following irrationalities without providing an acceptable explanation:
   
   • Provides inconsistent information about age, interests, marital status or employment
   • Refuses to speak to you by phone after establishing ongoing online intimacy.
   • Avoids giving direct answers to direct questions
   • Appears significantly different from the previous online persona.
   • Shies away from introducing you to friends or family.

8. Choose a safe meeting place
   When you decide, initially, to meet offline, let a friend know where you are going and when you will return. Leave the name and phone number with a friend. Never let the date pick you up at home. Have your own transportation, car or taxi, there and back, alone. Meet in a public place with plenty of people around; a restaurant or coffee shop would be ideal. If you decide to move on to another location, go in your own car. When the time comes to part express your thanks and appreciation and say goodbye. You are still a long way off 'coming in for coffee?'.

9. Take care away from your own patch
   If you are flying in from another city, arrange for your own car and hotel room. Do not If you are meeting in another city, arrange your own car and hotel room. Do not disclose the name of your hotel and never let an unknown person make arrangements for you. Call your date from the hotel or meet at the agreed location. If the location seems dicey or unsafe go back to the hotel. Go back home and start again from square one. Always make sure that a reliable friend knows your plans and has your contact information. If possible carry your own mobile phone, fully charged and operable.

10. Don't hang around if you don't like it
    There are, in every society and in any community, cheats liars and fraudsters, both male and female, who make a profession of preying on others. We, at B2Gether, try to make it as difficult as possible for these types to access our members: it is up to you to observe Tip 2 and protect your anonymity. When you have reached the dating stage, continue to take care. Never do anything that you feel uncertain about. If you are in any way afraid or have misgivings about your date, use your best judgment to defuse the situation and walk out. It’s your skin. Look after it.

We have gathered these ten points cheerfully and eclectically from all sources. It is the duty of any responsible agency to care for its clients.

*Double-blind is used to describe the type of experiment in which neither the experimenter nor the subjects know which of two treatments is genuine and which is a control procedure. It is a system employed by most reputable dating agencies